I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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