was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
