so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
