I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I am full of burrito and curiosity
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
