Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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