Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
