Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
