dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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