found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize