She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
