My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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