this beer tastes like vomit already
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize