Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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