Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize