And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
