East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
