So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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