that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
