2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
