Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
