Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
