apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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