im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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