Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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