I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
