She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
