omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You need a sexual gate keeper
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
