Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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