go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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