mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
