grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
