I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
