i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The power of my boobs compel you
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
