so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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