totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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