these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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