things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
