sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you win again, gameday.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
