Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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