I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
