writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
