I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
