Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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