Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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