Just fell off a train. Bad.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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