Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
