i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
