You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
