Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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