Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
