i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
