The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
