I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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