***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
