WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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