whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
